Let the insanity flow...

Hello again; well, this first week back from the bahamas has been a trip indeed. Some awesome things have happened...and some not-so-awesome things. Let's start with the not-so-awesome, shall we? Well, for one thing, nothing has really been all that fun around here. I was a moron and consented to play Polish Ping Pong with my friend Aaron and two of his friends...yeah...somehow I don't see the fun in running around a ping pong table shirtless and getting a ball whacked full-force at you if you screw up. Maybe it's me, but anything...well...NEARLY anything that ends up leaving welts on the skin doesn't strike me as overly fun. The notable exceptions to that rule are any REAL sporting events and something which I'm convinced SHOULD be a sporting event...I mean, it requires strength, stamina, skill...dexterity...agility...I mean, come on people! It's got all the same things that other sports need...I feel like it should be included ;)! So, after that being a dismal failure at entertaining me, I came back home. I'm not sure if this falls on the not-so-awesome side or not...so I'm gonna put it there anyway: I've started working out again, which equates to me getting stronger and yet kinda screws with my notorious reputation for laziness...*shrug* can't have everything I guess! On another note, Sarah Kutney decided to use my coworker Matt to try to say hi to me. Dumb bitch that she is, she STILL has me on her friends list despite my numerous requests to be removed...so, if you're reading this from her livejournal, enjoy ;)! After much deliberation, I decided to be the bigger person and instead of saying the first thing that popped into my head ("Burn in Hell"...I'm nice I know!), I went with a simple "Hi" as my response. This DEFINITELY fits into the not-so-awesome category...I'd very much hoped she was gone from my life entirely and I was blissfully happy in my ignorance. Whoever said "Ignorance is bliss" is my hero! Aside from that, I fought with my sister about how she thinks I've changed; in the end, I was forced to admit that I'd become a little colder towards my family...I guess it's back to the drawing board for how to treat them. WEEE! Moving on, we get to the awesome happenings of this week, of which there are not many. I started talking to a girl who is pretty awesome (you know who you are ;)) and things are going really well with those conversations. Both of us can't wait to get back to college so we can actually hang out, which is kinda hard when you're halfway across the country from each other (which is the case right now). I'm going kayaking later today, so I plan to be dumping overboard a lot...THAT should be a lot of fun too :). Yes, I know...I'm twisted...thank you! And now folks, for my explanation of why I hate a lot of the people in my town as far as my job is concerned. For those of you who don't know and actually care about the context of this story, I lifeguard at a public pool (emphasis on PUBLIC) in my hometown, which is a city of 48,000 people. It's a very big pool, with a capacity of around 700. There's a flume slide, diving boards, and even a wading area in a different part of the facility. That said, you would be amazed at how stupid some of the people are here. Sadly, they're all doctors, lawyers, and in general high-paid people. I live in an alternate reality...what do I mean by that? I mean that the average income of the people in my city is probably above $100,000 per household...even if just one person in the house works. I regularly see Mitsubishi Eclipses driven by teenagers...I've even seem HUMMERS parked in my old high school's parking lot...once again, driven by students. Obviously, their parents have a pretty high-paying job. We'd ASSUME that intelligence is implied there. Sadly, while it may be true with their careers, it definitely does not carry over into their daily lives. Think back folks...think back to when you were kids. Do you remember going to pools or lakes and having your parents pick you up and throw you as far as you could go? Remember the times where you could ride around on their shoulders? OF COURSE YOU DO! Those were great times! However due to the advent of stupid parents tossing their kids into walls and lawsuits, we now have rules at the pool where I work that require us to stop people from throwing their kids, dunking them too strongly, carrying them on their shoulders, and a host of other things. And yes folks, there are actually lawsuits because we, the lifeguards, did not inform them,the PARENTS, that it would be a less-than-good idea to throw their child into a concrete object... I'm personally of the opinion that we should erase all the 500-plus rules we have (yes it's an exaggeration...no, don't take it seriously) and just put up one: in big letters, we should write "NO FUN OF ANY KIND!!!" I think that might get the message across :). Of course it'd lose us all our customers...but hey...at least then we wouldn't be guilty of false advertising! But STILL, we have parents that complain or do stupid things. The most common question I get while in the diving well: "Can my 3 year old go off the diving boards with her floaties on?" My mental response: "You mean, 'can your three year old die?'" Seriously, how dumb do you have to be to try to take someone who CAN'T SWIM off of the diving boards into 12 feet of water!? The question that normally follows (or sometimes they just try it without asking) is "Well...can I get in the water and catch them as they jump off then?" Folks, I don't know if you've tried to catch a falling, panicky kid, but when they fall flailing from 4 feet above the water, it's not easy! Plus, they're trying to get as close to you as they can...read as "They're trying to break your nose with their knee". Again...WHERE IS THE HEAD?! We had a kid yesterday who came with a group; the group was STILL by the locker rooms taking attendance and this kid and his brother headed over to the diving well. The kid can't swim and his brother's sitting there yelling at him "This is NOT a good idea"...so what does he do? You guessed it...runs off the board into the water! We've been open for maybe 10 minutes and Matt has to jump in and rescue the kid. His first words upon getting saved? "Yeah...I can't really swim that well." See folks, this is why I firmly believe that natural selection should be let loose among the human population. No more viagra, no more ritalin, no more excuses for stupidity. If you are too dumb to realize that jumping into 12 feet of water without knowing how to swim is a BAD IDEA...I don't think anyone can help you! We actually had a complaint a few weeks ago from a parent about how crowded it was in the pool. Now, that I could understand (we had 7 camps in the pool that day)...if the wording weren't something like this: "You shouldn't let so many people into the pool. I come from California and we swam at country clubs all the time out there...it was NEVER this crowded." Does it strike anyone else as insanely stupid to compare a PUBLIC pool where you pay at most $5 per person to get in to a private country club pool where you pay thousands of dollars a year just to have a membership? Starting to get the picture yet? Add to that the fact that kids don't seem to understand the concept of walking on slippery surfaces and you have a recipe for an abiding hatred for stupidity :)! Ah my life...a never-ending circus ride...damned carnies ;). Alright folks! After imparting my wisdom unto all of you, I'm gonna head off to bust my butt kayaking. By the way, just a reminder to some of you who STILL comment in my lj without signing it...SIGN IT! Just something that lets me identify who you are! I loved the redhead's comment from my last entry (yes, baby, I know who you are ;)) and I knew who it was from because it was a personal title I gave her :). I don't care if you say something deliberately mean and offensive...just sign it with something identifying so I know who's angry at me for something. I pride myself on leaving any and all comments (yes, even yours Sarah) in my lj...I may reserve the right to disagree with them, but by all means, speak your mind! Just make sure I know whose mind is being spoken! Alright, time to find a closet to put the soapbox away in till I need it again! See ya...heeeerre closet, closet, closet...